The first thing you can do is celebrate a few days early to surprise your partner. That can look like a variety of items from a romantic dinner, to gifts, to adventures both in and out of the bedroom- really anything to strengthen your bond. Better yet, celebrate every single day with a 60-second favour. Daily investment in the relationship will go farther than one grand gesture once a year. You might also want to strengthen your couple’s bond by including a third party – not in a kinky way, but in a loving way. Invite a friend, family member or neighbour to join you for lunch or dinner. Love doesn’t have to be romantic. Platonic love can be just as meaningful, so let V-Day be a reminder to celebrate it too.

To improve your connection outside of the bedroom, you need to listen to your partner. Surprise your partner with sticky love notes hidden throughout the house if you’re still working from home, or if not, try sticking them in their car, briefcase, purse, etc. Try 60 seconds of eye gazing. Break up your day with a minute of gazing into each other’s eyes and seeing how you feel. You might feel a rush of oxytocin. Take the conversation away from the mundane; talk about passionate topics.

Before getting into the saucy stuff on Valentine’s Day, please take 60 seconds to appreciate your partner, lay your head on their chest and listen to their heartbeat. Once you get down to it, focus on what feels good instead of getting into the specific goals of frequency and other metrics. Focus on your emotional and physical connection and well-being.

Finally, you may want to give your partner a spicy surprise. Surprise your partner with a bit of lingerie. I love this Tiger Lily Red Floral Lace piece from Lovehoney. It comes in a romantically red colour and has a body-inclusive, plus-size option. They have discreet online delivery, so the package will arrive without labelling, and your partner won’t know what you’ve ordered and won’t ruin the surprise!

Lovehoney also has expert advice on mixing things up in the bedroom so that you can get wild this Valentine’s Day. While they have toys for all genders, sexual orientations, and interests, what’s really trending this year is their very popular Lovehoney stimulator with pleasure air technology. I love it for solo and partnered play and so many of my clients have learned to ‘O’ with this device.