If you’ve ever tried to ask a child “How was school?” it’s an instant conversation stopper. There are other specific things you ask instead, before we get to that – I have lined a few ways you can connect with your kids after school.
1. Take the long way home
If you can walk, walk. Give your kids some time to decompress. Walk at your kids’ pace, take a different route, and throw in a stop at a playground or two. They will need that time and space to get rid of that pent-up energy.
2. Do what your kid wants to do
Although it may not be your cup of tea, engaging with your child shows that you are interested in what they are interested in. It makes you more likeable, trustworthy, and relatable. These are all characteristics that will make you someone your child wants to speak to.
3. Ask open-ended questions
At our dinner table, we ask questions that force kids to answer beyond yes or no. It allows them to reflect on their day and offer more meaningful, insightful answers. It also allows your kids to take the conversation where they feel it needs to go.
For example, we always ask, ‘What was your favourite part of your day?’
4. Other questions to ask:
- What did you do that was kind today?
- Did someone make you laugh today?
- What did you work hard at today?
- Did something upset you today? How did you turn your frown into a smile?
- Play ‘Glad, Mad, Sad.’ (This is where you go around the table at dinner and each person says a thing that made them glad that day, something that made them mad, and something that made them sad.)
- We always answer too in order to make it an easy conversation that the whole family is a part of it.
5. Ask yourself these questions at the end of a week to make sure you have the best circumstances for an open chat:
- Are you making space for conversation?
- Are there times when the devices are off and you are talking with your child?
- Is it happening in the car, at the dinner table?
- Are you happy with your conversations?
