As a sex therapist, I get many books on love, sex and relationships crossing my desk. Some linger and are reread multiple times, while others are read, scoffed at and then tossed quickly from my sight.
This is a list of the former: Five books that either caught my eye, educated my mind, opened my networks to invaluable dialogue, or simply stimulated my sex craving curiosity button for more than a fleeting moment. Here they are:
1. The Guide to Getting It On – Sixth Edition, by Paul Joannides
Here’s what Oprah magazine had to say: “You’ve never read a manual as warm, friendly, liberating, thorough and potentially sex-life-changing as The Guide to Getting It On. Neither had anyone in our office, which may be why our copies keep disappearing” This book has been translated into over thirteen different languages and has sold over 650,000 copies. It is a world-class sex manual that starts from the simplistic and evolves into the “Oh my God! I had no idea that was possible!”
2. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Chapman brings his over 30 years of experience as a marriage counsellor to his theory on how individuals express and interpret love. This book helps couples to learn their “love language” and then recognize how these languages affect their actions, wants and desires within their relationship. I have used Chapman’s book to guide couples in therapy for years, as I believe that he makes understanding oneself, and ones partner, an enlightening experience.
3. Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
Throughout the ages we have aspired to increase our IQ – and recently our EI (Emotional Intelligence), but the thought of sharpening our erotic intelligence has only recently taken ground. Perel helps us to explore this crucial third component through her theories on the pitfalls of modern intimacy within long term relationships, and her beliefs on how we can sustain our erotic vitality within the monogamous setting.
4. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman
Gottman is a highly respected and influential researcher within the psychology community, and for good reason. He has analyzed and watched (through in house cameras) so many couples interact throughout the years, that he can predict divorce – with 91 percent accuracy – after watching and listening to a couple for only five minutes! That’s right, I said five! His book is an easy read, peppered with fascinating statistics, that is bound to offer something to every relationship. Don’t let the cover or title deter you if you haven’t taken that plunge into marital bliss (dare I use that word?), as Gottman’s seven principles will reveal must see signs and behaviours for every relationship, regardless of its legal state.
5. The Erotic Mind by Jack Morin
Morin explores uncharted territory in the dimensions of human sexuality. He proposes new ways of looking at our inner eroticism, as well as the psychology behind what breeds our desires, and what brings unity to our body and mind in order to reach true sexual fulfillment. The book is intriguing, regardless if one agrees or disagrees with his conclusions, and devilishly appealing for all those interested in expanding their sexual enlightenment.
My list of must-read books is endless, unfortunately my editor it tight on Teesha-talk-time, and my allotted writing space limited. Therefore I leave you with these five in the hopes that one may catch your eye, call out to you in a sexy voice, and persuade you to open its cover. Happy reading and enjoy! I know I did…. over and over and over again (insert wink and sexual innuendo).
Dr. Teesha Morgan is a sex therapist based in Vancouver.
