Planning a summer party or BBQ?

Does the mere thought of entertaining any more than four people at your home fill you with anxiety?

Us too, but as Charles MacPherson, aka Charles the Butler, notes, you as the hostess needn’t stress. A little planning goes a long way in making your gathering both fun and relaxing.

First, think of what kind of party you’re having, Charles advises.

“Are we doing a pool party? Are we doing our grandmother’s 50th wedding anniversary? Think about what kind of event it is,” he says. “Are we doing something simple at home? Are we going to have friends help us? Are we going to be at a restaurant or banquet hall?”

Figuring out those basic details — what kind of event, where it will take place, and how many people will be in attendance – will go a long way in determining the sort of food, drinks and decorations you need.

When it comes to food, don’t go crazy with 10 different dishes that will all be ready at various times. Do one main dish, perhaps a roast, and then think of a few sides that can be prepared in advance.

Pot luck is another option – but be sure to structure it so that you get a good variety of starters, mains, salads, and desserts. A way to do this is to ask your friends to bring a particular course, or a dish that you know they love to make.

“The mistake we make is we ask our friend Sally, ‘Sally could you bring something?’ She says, ‘Sure.’ And we end up with 10 jello moulds,” Charles says. “The secret is to not be afraid to be very specific: Can you bring a dessert? Can you bring a salad? Then everyone has a very specific instruction and you have a properly built menu.”

When we have a project at work, we take out our calendar and plan what needs to be done when. It’s the same when planning a party. Figure out what you need to do when – there are a lot of tasks that can be eliminated at the get-go, such as buying wine, non-perishable snacks, napkins, etc. That way you don’t have to worry about those things in the days leading up to the event, and you can focus instead on cleaning the house and purchasing last-minute items.

On the day of your get-together, one of your main jobs as hostess is to make sure your guests are enjoying themselves. If you’ve invited someone who doesn’t know anyone else there, be sure to introduce them to a guest you think they’ll get along well with.

“First of all, give them all a drink – it gives your guests something to hold onto,” Charles suggests. “Introduce your guests, and think about why you’re introducing them. Instead of saying, ‘Sally, I’d like to introduce you to my friend Bill.’ Say something like, ‘Sally, I want you to meet my friend Bill. He’s a great downhill skier like yourself.’ That gives them a jumping-off point for conversation. Keep an eye out for someone who may be kind of lost, and no one’s talking to, and go and rescue them. It’s your job as the host or hostess to help them find someone to talk to, to make sure they enjoy your event.”

Speaking of enjoying the event, if you’ve planned it out well, you’ll have fun too. And that’s important, because if you’re stressed, your guests will feel it.

“If you’re relaxed because you have everything organized, your guests are going to relax,” Charles says. “They don’t want to come to your house if you’re going to be stressed, because that doesn’t make them have a good time.”

Charles the Butler is the author of The Butler Speaks, available in stores and online.

And for more summer entertaining suggestions, check out our special Summer Entertaining section!