Post-secondary education is a big next step in your child’s life, and in your role as a parent, too! As you prepare your kid for university or college, parenting expert Kathy Buckworth wants to help you get them on the right track, from managing their finances to keeping their grades up.
Whether you’re financing their expenses or your child is paying their own way, Buckworth emphasizes the importance of creating a budget. “A budget is a great idea, and asking them what things are costing as the year goes on (food, books, extracurricular, etc) helps to remind both of you what the overall budget needs to look like for four years,” says Buckworth.
Make sure you stick to this budget throughout the year, and be sure to have your child involved in creating this financial plan so that they know how you reached these numbers. Try not to add too much pressure to your child in terms of finances, however, because they will also likely be somewhat overwhelmed by their large course load.
First semester is commonly a bit of a shock for students, no matter how successful they were in high school. To help lessen the severity of this blow, Buckworth suggests guiding your child in the right direction. “Stay in touch and encourage them to join study groups, get familiar with the library, and remind them how important it is to attend classes,” recommends Buckworth. “In the end though, I think they have to figure this out for themselves.” With lectures now being available via Skype or as online videos, Buckworth makes it clear that it’s still more valuable to attend classes in person.
Not only will your child figure out how to balance their lectures and homework with their social life, but they’ll also need to make their own decisions around remaining with their high school sweetheart who may not be attending the same college or university as them. Although you may want to help influence their decision in order to save them from future heartbreak, Buckworth insists that this is a decision they have to make by themselves at their own pace.
Similarly, Buckworth stresses that this is a time when you need to be more “hands off” in your child’s life, even though this might be really difficult for helicopter parents (who are extremely involved in their children’s lives). “Texting and email are a great way to stay in touch with kids away from home, which I didn’t have when I was a student,” says Buckworth. “If you are Facebook friends, checking in there to see what they’re doing is also an option – and you don’t have to comment on every picture!”
Don’t think of this time as a lonelier one, parents. “In terms of coping, it’s a great time to spend more time with the kids left at home, and also to step up a fitness program, start a hobby, or see friends you’ve neglected during the busy kid years,” suggests Buckworth. She also notes that you shouldn’t encourage your child to come home on the weekends in the first month – they need to have time to establish a social life at school, and you also need to find your own groove at home. “Thanksgiving comes soon enough!”
What tips do you have for students heading off to university or college for the first time? How did you cope with this change as a parent? Share your thoughts in the comments!